


Remember The Day You Told Me

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Season 5 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: “I know that if—“ Clarke pauses to pull away slightly because she hasn’t admitted this to him yet, and she never thought she would have to tell him outloud. “You go on and die in that Valley trying to save them, I won’t make it without you this time.”





	Remember The Day You Told Me

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to one of my good friends named Mara! It’s her birthday so I just feel obligated to write her a little something. 
> 
> For everyone, I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Two days till the finale (I’m so excited!) 
> 
> there’s gonna be another new fic out tomorrow! thanks for reading ;)

“We have to go!” Clarke shouts, calling out to a stubborn man who’s at the opposite end of the ramp. She tries to stay calm, with the strong smell of smoke and ash filling the air. 

She wishes that the difficulty she had breathing was just as easy than bombs going off, but it’s because she feels a surge of panic rise in her chest. 

He could die, Bellamy will die if he goes out into the remains of the Valley. 

She was there when McCreary told her the plans for the three missile launch. 

Clarke only heard two, and that’s what scares her. There’s another one, minutes away from firing. 

“I need to find my friends.” Bellamy urges, not knowing who’s behind him or who’s speaking to him. His ears are still ringing with the shock of the previous missiles from going off. 

Clarke forces herself to ignore the pain shooting through the delicate places in her heart, because she wasn’t there in space before. 

“Bellamy, _please_.” 

Bellamy turns around agonizingly slow for someone who’s frantic, and his own heart jumps when he realizes it’s Clarke. 

Of course, she’s trying to convince him to leave them behind. 

“I need to save them, I can’t just leave them behind, Clarke.” His eyebrows furrowed. 

She understands, although she wishes she didn’t because it used to be just him and her. They used to matter so much to eachother, and it all seems one-sided. 

“You left me behind last time, did you forget that?” 

“I could never but—“ 

The pause in his sentence forces her to speak. 

“Forget it. Go save them, but make it back as quick as you can.” 

Clarke can’t bear to hear his answer, her hands are trembling at her sides with the lever so close in range. She has to pull it sometime, and she feels regret travel everywhere where there’s a feeling in her body. She really does try to convince herself that he’ll make it back to her, that she isn’t as angry as she seems.

The last time she promised him to return fast, she was left behind and he was mourning her in space. It’s _stupid_ , so so _stupid_ to think it won’t happen like that again. 

She glances from the lever and then to Bellamy, he’s starting to walk away to accept her wishes. 

The feeling of loathing, hurt and neglect seem to vanish when her feet start running towards him. She feels a breeze brush past, it dries the sudden tears down her face and hope arises. 

She can’t leave him behind to die. 

Not again. 

She reaches him in seconds, ignoring the burn in her throat as she grips onto his arms. 

“Don’t go.” She pleads, and looks up at him with hooded eyes. 

Bellamy’s confused, terribly so as he holds her in place in front of him. 

“You have to go back.” 

“No, No...not without you.” 

“Why is this time any different from what we’ve done in the past to eachother? I’ll be fine—“ 

“You’ll die if you don’t come back with me.” Clarke bites her lips, they were shaking with the anticipation of tears. 

Her eyes flutter shut when he reaches up to cup her cheek, his thumb rubbing quick circles into her skin, smoothing out her worry. 

“You don’t know that,” He sighs, fighting her heartbreaking grip on his mind because now he’s torn. Nobody knows what’ll happen next, so how does she know? 

“I know that if—“ Clarke pauses to pull away slightly because she hasn’t admitted this to him yet, and she never thought she would have to tell him outloud. “You go on and die in that Valley trying to save them, I _won’t_ make it without you this time.”  

She remembers the radio calls. 

_Bellamy, if you could hear me, it’s been 2,199 days since Praimfaya and I don’t know why I still do this everyday, maybe it’s my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am, who I was._

“You did it before, and we’re wasting time talking.” His voice is low, but his eyes are blinding her with a look she’s never seen, completely _blind_ to the fact that she cares way too much. 

“I need to go.” Bellamy demands, and he shrugs her arms off his biceps. She doesn’t know that it hurts him a lot more than he let off. 

“I called you everyday, you know? Everyday for 2,199 days.” 

He stops moving, his eyes widen at her shouting back at him, and he’s almost certain a noise left his mouth as it stays open. 

Clarke looks away from him to calm down, crossing her arms and looking up to the sky instead. 

It’s full of smoke, and a mix of grey and black ash. She continues talking, hoping those damned missiles give her a few seconds to confess. 

“I needed you for six years, I had no idea if you survived or not. When you didn’t answer, I thought all of my hope was lost because I didn’t know or tell you how much I relied on you. You told me, that night in Arkadia-“ 

“—To never lose hope if you’re still breathing.” 

Clarke’s head shoots down in his direction, thinking she had hurt herself because she moved so fast. 

He has tears in his eyes, and he’s fighting himself with every inhale and exhale leaving his chest. Is it worth risking his life for people he loves? Or the person he loves? He doesn’t know if they’ll survive this. 

Raven, Echo, Emori, they were all strong women that he’s sure they’ll survive this but it still stings to know that he would ever think to leave them here without a fight. They have to know that he tried his best but he knows that they’d want him to survive, no matter how hard it would be to leave them behind. He experienced that when Raven made Bellamy leave Clarke behind, he cant do that again. 

 

She needs him. 

 

It’s right. It’s okay. 

 

They stay silent, until Clarke grows worry in her chest because it’s been a few minutes since the last missile and she knows she’s close to being a distant memory in this world, if she’s didn’t mob then. 

A smile grows on her lips, it was forced but accepting. She needs him to know that she’s always cared, and now he did. 

She says her final words, accepting whatever the hell he was doing. 

“I didn’t want to do this without you, Bellamy” It’s low unlike the chaos around them, but she makes sure he could hear it. She’s said it to him multiple times before, in the past when it was the two of them against the horrid reality of surviving. 

Clarke’s a few seconds from bursting out in sobs and running her way back to the ship, back to a life without Bellamy Blake but someone stops her. Bellamy yanks her arm back, not scared of anything anymore but he’s still fighting himself so much. He’ll feel so much guilt. 

He says angrily, his voice is raspy and filled with emotion. Clarke sees the ghosts in his eyes, the past he hates to relive. “They’ll die out here, and you know that.”

“I wouldn’t be fighting you so much if I didn’t, but I know _you_.” 

He sighs, there’s a burn in the back of his throat and it stops him from saying more than a few words. 

“What do you know?” He asks softly. 

“Sometimes we have to sacrifice people to save others.” It’s the truth, and he proves his understanding of the fact when he lets the tears fall down his face too. 

“Do you think they’ll be okay without us?” 

She nods, flinching to the touch of his arm snaking in her jacket and pulling her close. Clarke feels his fingers against the thin material of her shirt, and they can’t stop shaking. 

“Of course, but we really have to go” 

Clarke feels her own soul rip apart because those were her friends too, and she doesn’t know what’ll happen when, if they ever return. 

Bellamy nods, a painful look back at the valley in pieces of a fight he hoped to win. A look back into a world that has his friends stuck somewhere, and a world he knows he has to escape. 

Although, Clarke feels a weight lifted off her chest because he listened to her and they were going to weigh the burden together. 

It was their word afterall. 

* 

“Monty and Harper?” 

“In the control room, getting the cryotanks ready.” 

Bellamy nods, he’s serious now because only a handful of friends got onto the Eliguis ship. Even if he wouldn’t be talking to anyone for the next few decades, it was unsettling to be with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. 

He could still feel Clarke’s hand intertwined in his, as she made another life changing decision to pull the lever to close the door. 

She had walked away from him, and in another room speaking with Diyoza,  trying to sedate Kane from further infections. It’s a surprise that he didn’t die. 

Octavia comes up next to him, all of her armor is gone and set aside. As she’s tending to a wound on her shoulder, she speaks to her brother. 

“Clarke made it?” 

He nods, “Yeah she did it again.” 

“Are you gonna do anything about it?” 

His cheeks flush, “O, I don’t know what you’re-“ 

Octavia feels something other than anger, and pain for the first time in six years. She’s returned and Blodreina is dead, and it’s certainly a good thing she wouldn’t be under the floor anymore. 

“Do I have to remind you?” 

“Of what, exactly?” Bellamy banters, because it’s giving him something else to focus on other than this whole thing about planets, cold chambers and death of his people. 

“You love her, Bellamy.” 

He shakes his head slightly, it was still a fight for her heart and he hates that he never stopped loving her, even when he was with Echo. 

“She made me stay behind, she convinced me to go with her.” 

It’s like he’s convincing himself that she feels the same, and of course she does. He still can’t believe what she said, what she did to protect him. 

Octavia smiles a little, looking at Clarke and Abby talking and hugging eachother and she realizes that it’ll be a long time before anything changes, but she’ll try to stay sane. 

“You keep her centered, big brother.” 

Bellamy nods, because it’s one thing that he knows is true. 

“It’s the same for the both of us, we just center eachother. I can’t explain it and neither can she.” 

Bellamy doesn’t realize he’s staring into the distance when he locks eyes with a pair of blue ones, and can’t look away. 

They didn’t lose eachother this time, and it felt good to see her stand there, only a few feet away and not a whole planet in separation. 

He wonders what the future holds, but admits that he already has what he’s been wanting since the day he met her. 


End file.
